


Jealousy

by FunkyTown67_RH



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angry Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Jimmy Novak Are Twins, College, Dean POV epilogue, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Jimmy Novak, Homosexuality, Human Castiel, Jealous Castiel, Law Student Sam, Lawyer Sam, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mechanic Dean, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Multi, POV Castiel, Polyamory, Research, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, for a little bit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8583241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyTown67_RH/pseuds/FunkyTown67_RH
Summary: Castiel Novak has had a crush on Dean Winchester since grade school. In their senior year of high school, his twin brother, Jimmy, goes out with Dean instead.





	1. High School

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short fic, but I can tell it's turning into something a little larger. Not huge, but still worthy of chapters. I won't be updating this regularly because I already have Rebellion going, but I'm pretty excited about it, so I shouldn't go too long in between chapters.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! I was introduced to this ship by [FelixMaroussia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FelixMaroussia/pseuds/FelixMaroussia), so this fic is dedicated to them.
> 
> Tumblr: [funkytown67rh](https://funkytown67rh.tumblr.com/)

    Cas wasn’t jealous. He just wasn’t. At least that's what he told himself at least once every day as he watched his twin brother making out with _Dean Winchester_ of all people. Jimmy knew he’d had a crush on Dean since grade school and yet he still went out with him when he got the chance.

   It hadn't even been that big of a chance. Last semester, Cas had been in the same senior biology class, but Jimmy had been the one to be assigned as Dean's lab partner. From what Cas had seen from the other side of the room, Dean hadn't even been flirting when Jimmy asked him to study with him. According to Jimmy, everything had just clicked from there.

   And now, Jimmy had Dean pinned against the lockers and was kissing him as if his life depended on it while Cas was… apparently killing his English notebook. He relaxed his grip and told himself, again, that he wasn't jealous. He was happy for his brother. He and Dean were good together. Cas stuffed these thoughts into a dark corner reserved especially for them and strode up to the happy couple.

    “You're going to be late for class,” Cas admonished his brother.

    “Oh, come on. We were just having a bit of fun,” Jimmy smirked at Cas, pulling away from Dean to speak, but keeping him pinned with one hand.

    “Yeah, don't be a spoilsport, Cas,” Dean grinned up at him and Cas’s heart stuttered, “Wanna join?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. Jimmy smacked Dean on the side of his head while Cas made an offended noise in the back of his throat.

    “ _I_ am going to class,” Cas announced and hurried down the hallway, not caring whether or not his brother and Dean followed. Going to class didn't help him to forget Dean’s smirk. _Wanna join_? Cas shuddered. He remembered the day he’d requested his own bedroom. Jimmy had been hurt and his parents confused, but Cas had been getting disturbed by the... fantasies that he’d been unable to keep at bay. If Dean was going to say things like that, Cas was going to have to dip his brain in bleach if he ever wanted said fantasies to go away.

    His English teacher was saying something about the literary significance of the red “A” in _The Scarlet Letter_. Cas was entirely too distracted to understand a single point he was making. It didn’t matter. He could never go to class and still pass every test with an A. This was Cas’s last class of the day, so when the bell finally rang, He jumped out of his seat and hurried to his locker, eager to go home. As he was shoving his anatomy textbook into the last empty space in his locker, his phone alerted him that he had received a text.

 

_Jimmy 3:05 PM_

**going home with Dean. left keys in my locker.**

 

    Cas stared at the text for a moment and then slammed his fist into the nearest surface which happened to be the locker next to his. Cas barely noticed the dull throb in his hand or the odd looks he received. He was done. Not only did his twin steal his crush, but now his crush was stealing his twin. This was not the first time Jimmy had abandoned him at a moment’s notice for Dean. In fact, it had been happening more and more often. Cas was tired of being left out of everything.

    He shoved his locker door and heard it bang shut behind him. He stalked to Jimmy’s locker, everyone in the hallway giving him a wide berth. He could only imagine what his expression was right now. After he retrieved the keys to the car he shared with his brother, he slammed that locker shut as well.

     _Three more weeks_ , Cas thought, _three more weeks and then school will be over and I don’t have to go through this every day._ At this point, Cas just wanted to be done with it. No more pining. No more jealousy. No more _Jimmy and Dean_.

    Cas sped the entire way home. He threw the front door open and practically ran up the stairs to his bedroom. He slammed that door, tossed his backpack off somewhere to the side, and threw himself across his bed. His belt buckle was digging into his stomach uncomfortably, but it wasn’t enough to inspire him to move. If he could just stay here for the next three weeks,  he would be happy.

    Cas had drifted off when the sound of the front door closing roused him. He looked at the clock. It was only 4:30. His parents shouldn’t be home yet. Then he heard the voices.

    “You said you had pie!” Dean whined.

    “No, I said I _could_ have pie. And I could. Look; there’s the flour, the sugar, I’m sure we have butter in the fridge…” Jimmy explained.

    “Shut up you dork,” Dean cut Jimmy off. There was silence and Cas just knew that they were making out in the kitchen, right below him. He covered his head with a pillow. He didn’t want to hear any more. For a good ten minutes the pillow assured silence, but then he heard his brother’s voice, obviously shouting.

    “Hey, Cas! You home?” Jimmy's voice was muffled by the pillow, but still understandable. Cas lifted the pillow a bit, considering answering, but he really didn't want to deal with them at the moment. He dropped his head back to the bed and remained silent. “I guess not. Maybe he…” Cas replaced the pillow and delightful silence enveloped him once more.

    Eventually, Cas fell asleep again. He dreamed of green and blue and neither were his. He spent the entire night chasing them through a fantastical landscape. Then a shrill,  repetitive noise broke his pursuit.  His arms stretched out and smacked the button on top of his alarm clock. The noise shut off and Cas was tempted to fall back into the dream until he remembered how annoying it was. Then he also remembered school, responsibilities, good grades, and not ruining his future. With a groan, he rolled over and immediately regretted sleeping in his clothes.

    Cas, still mostly asleep, staggered to his door and opened it, intent on finding the restroom. Instead, he almost ran into a half-naked Dean. Cas’s mouth fell open and his eyes ran over tanned muscles until focusing on the face above them. Dean was looking as surprised as he was and Cas suddenly felt self-conscious. His face was probably sleep-wrinkled, he was wearing yesterday’s clothes, and he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet.

    “You’re really cute when you first wake up, you know that?” Dean’s smile was blinding and Cas had trouble forming a coherent answer.

    “Oh. Um...You’re not so bad yourself,” he stuttered and then blushed. Dean had spent the night with his _brother_. He shouldn’t be flirting with him, even if it was a one on a scale of a hundred.

    Dean chuckled. “Okay, sleepyhead. Um, your parents don’t know I’m here. Could you not mention it to them? Jimmy would be really upset.” Cas blinked at him and then nodded. He was waking up enough for this whole situation to cause his stomach to twist into knots. “Thanks, you’re the best. I’m just going to get dressed and then I’ll be out of here. You sure wake up early.” Dean made an _oh well_ expression and disappeared into Jimmy’s room before Cas could conjure up an appropriate response.

    Cas stood in the hallway for a few moments, staring at the opposite wall. He was trying very hard not to think about what must have happened last night. Instead, he tried to think about whether he was going to ignore his brother or give him a tongue thrashing he would never forget. Dean emerged from Jimmy’s room, fully dressed. His brows furrowed in a little frown when he saw Cas still standing in the hall.

    “You okay, man?” Dean asked. Cas turned his head to look at him.

    “I’m fine,” he answered automatically, “Just waking up.”

    Dean raised an eyebrow, but let it stand. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you at school.”

    “See you,” Cas echoed as Dean gave him a two-fingered salute and began to tiptoe down the stairs. Cas finally made his limbs move and entered the bathroom to perform his daily routine.

 

    The next two weeks dragged their feet and dug into Cas with their nails, unwilling to pass and inflicting as much pain as possible. Dean stayed over again twice and Cas pretty much fled the house at those times. He didn’t have any friends he felt close enough to to ask to stay overnight, so he ended up staying out way past his curfew and only coming back after he was absolutely certain his brother and Dean were asleep. The first time it happened, he got away with the excuse that he got lost. The second time, he was grounded. He wouldn’t have minded, except that he had nowhere to go to escape the constant pain and jealousy that seeing Dean and Jimmy together inspired.

    It happened on Friday night. Cas had driven Dean and Jimmy to his house but hadn’t escaped up to his room fast enough to be relieved of the duty of helping Jimmy study for their anatomy final. Even though they were twins and everyone expected them to be the same, Cas was a much more studious person than Jimmy. So there he was, sitting cross-legged on the floor quizzing Jimmy and Dean on the different bones of the head.

    “What is this called?” Cas held up the picture and pointed to the back of the head near the base.

    “Temporal bone!” Dean shouted out. The smug look on his face told Cas that he probably knew exactly how wrong he was.

    “No, Dean,” Cas cursed himself for the thrill that ran through him at saying that name, “this is the occipital bone.” Cas said it patiently but felt the need to give Dean some grief for being so difficult, “If you can’t take this seriously, then I don’t think you’ll do very well in college. What did you want to do again?” As if Cas didn't already know.

    “Mechanical engineering,” Dean muttered. He had stiffened and was darting glances at Jimmy. Cas decided to ignore them.

    “Well, you need excellent grades and study habits to actually get that degree. So, focus. Start over from the beginning?” Cas asked, watching the looks passing between his brother and Dean.

    “Go ahead,” Jimmy decided, only half paying attention. Cas was becoming frustrated but refused to show it. Instead, he looked down to the paper in his hand.

    “Point to the parietal bone,” Cas instructed. Both boys pointed to the correct area on their own heads, so Cas continued even though he felt like he was being ignored and left out of a silent argument.

    “Okay. Zygomatic bone?” Jimmy pointed, but Dean didn’t. Instead, he jumped to his feet.

    “Just because I don’t want to go to the same college as you does not mean this is over,” Dean announced. Cas stared at him, completely lost as to where Dean was coming from. Jimmy stood to match Dean.

    “What percentage of long distance relationships actually work? We haven’t been together long enough and I don’t think either of us would do well without being close,” Jimmy argued and understanding snapped into place in Cas’s mind.

    “It wouldn’t hurt to try,” Dean countered. Cas got the feeling that this argument had been going on for a while. He wondered why Jimmy hadn't talked to him about it.

    “It wouldn’t hurt for you to just come to college with me,” Jimmy retorted. Cas pulled the anatomy book to his chest and tried to scoot away. If he stood, he would almost be right in between them.

    “It wouldn’t hurt for you to come to college with _me_. Or just drop it and give us a chance,” Dean was angry. Cas just wanted to get away. This was not his problem.

    “Your college doesn’t offer science degrees and you know it. Cas! Don’t leave. We’re done. Let’s get back to studying,” Cas had stood and was preparing to flee to his room. Jimmy made to sit back down, but Dean gripped his upper arm.

    “We’re not done. I want you to say that you’ll give us a chance and not break up with me as soon as I leave,” Dean sounded desperate.

    “I won’t say that. In fact, you know what? Maybe if you can’t see reason, we’re breaking up right now,” Jimmy lifted his chin in defiance. Cas sucked in a breath and took a step back. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

    “Are you serious?” Dean asked, the fight going out of his eyes and his voice deadpan.

    “Utterly. I won’t pretend video chat and phone calls are enough. We'll both be unhappy. I won’t do that. So either you come to my college or we break up,” Jimmy laid down the ultimatum and Dean clenched his jaw.

    “Goodbye, Jimmy,” Dean bent to retrieve his jacket and with jerky movements headed towards the front door, “It was nice knowing you, Cas.”

    Cas made a small strangled noise in his throat and then Dean was gone. Jimmy stared after him, looking lost. Cas put the anatomy book down on a side table and reached out to put a hand on his brother’s arm.

    “Jimmy?” Cas asked.

    “What did I just do, Cas? I just wanted him to come with me. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t,” Jimmy stuttered and leaned against Cas. Cas led them backwards and sat down on the couch.

    “It’s okay. Dean’s just angry. You can apologize tomorrow. It’ll be okay,” Cas ran his hand up and down Jimmy’s back. Even though the words tasted sour, Cas knew it was what Jimmy needed to hear. Jimmy and Dean really were good together and, however much it might hurt Cas, he wouldn’t take that away from his brother.

    Eventually, Jimmy relaxed against Cas and let out a small breath which ghosted along Cas’s neck, causing shivers to run down Cas's spine. Jimmy pushed himself away from Cas and into a more natural sitting position.

    “Thanks, Cas. I’m gonna go get some sleep. You should grab some, too,” Jimmy told Cas as he stood and headed towards the stairs. Cas watched him go and sighed. Somehow he was the last one left. Again. 

 


	2. College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Cas would miss an entire movie, too distracted by the way Jimmy’s hair curled on his forehead or his eyelashes brushed over his cheeks. Cas wasn’t confused by those thoughts anymore. He knew he had fallen in love with his twin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of short, but I really wanted to update. Enjoy!
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    The next day at school, Jimmy didn’t talk to Dean. They didn’t even acknowledge each other. At lunch, Cas tried to convince Jimmy to speak to him, but Jimmy refused. Cas wanted to scream. If he had been in Jimmy’s position, he would have been doing anything to get Dean back, but Jimmy was letting his own pride get in the way.

    Finals week was hell for Cas. He watched his brother give Dean the cold shoulder while Dean slowly warmed up and tried to talk to him, only to be ignored or brushed off. On Thursday, Dean came up to talk to Cas.

    “Cas, man, I need some help. Jimmy won’t talk to me,” Dean’s brow was furrowed.

    Cas sighed and grabbed his calculator, “I’ve tried, Dean. He’s too proud and hurt to talk to you.”

    “Figures,” Dean muttered, “Would you give this to him,” Dean handed Cas a folded piece of paper, “If he won’t talk to me, maybe he’ll read.”

    “I’ll give it to him. I can’t promise he’ll read it,” Cas glanced at the clock. His final started in three minutes. “I’ve really got to go. I’ll see you… later,” Cas said as he backed up, staring into Dean’s eyes.

    “Thanks, Cas,” Dean smiled. Cas felt a blush rising in his cheeks. He turned around and jogged down the hallway to his classroom. Cas didn’t know it then, but that was the last time he would see Dean for a long time.

 

* * *

 

    Jimmy wouldn’t talk about the letter, no matter how many times Cas asked. So he stopped asking. Cas caught some sort of stomach flu and couldn’t attend his own graduation ceremony. Jimmy told him he hadn’t missed much, just some “long ass speeches and boredom”. They both got summer jobs and had fun pretending to be each other when one of them couldn’t stand the thought of going into work that day. When August rolled around, they packed up what stuff they couldn’t live without and drove the five hours to their college. Cas thought of Dean, but didn’t mention him. He could tell Jimmy was doing the same.

    Since they were attending the same university, they had requested to be roommates. It only made sense. Jimmy was going for a biology degree and Cas had chosen accounting. The first few weeks were hectic and stressful, but soon both of them fell into their respective routines. On Wednesday nights, they would strip their beds of pillows and blankets and sit on the floor to watch a movie or two. Cas wavered between loving and hating these nights. On the one hand, he spent one on one time with his brother and on the other, he was sitting alone with him in the dark.

    Sometimes Cas would miss an entire movie, too distracted by the way Jimmy’s hair curled on his forehead or his eyelashes brushed over his cheeks. Cas wasn’t confused by those thoughts anymore. He knew he had fallen in love with his twin. They made him sad though. He could never be with him. Incest was generally looked down upon and Jimmy hadn’t shown any similar feelings.

    One Wednesday night, about three months into the semester, Cas and Jimmy were watching _Speed_ , an old favourite of Jimmy’s. Cas had flinched back when the woman fell off the bus and got run over. Jimmy just laughed and put an arm over Cas’s shoulders. Cas leaned in automatically, eager to line himself up against Jimmy’s side. The movie continued to play, but Cas wasn’t watching. He was paying attention the gentle rise and fall of Jimmy’s chest next to him and how his face was right next to Jimmy’s. Eventually, the movie ended.

    “And that’s it. Better every time. Right, Cas?” Jimmy asked in a shaky voice.

    “Hey, what is it?” Cas turned to fully face his brother.

    “Nothing. You know how much I like that movie,” Jimmy gave Cas a big smile and Cas would have been convinced except for the waver at end.

    “Jimmy,” Cas admonished seriously as he moved to kneel in front of his twin, “What’s wrong?”

    “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Cas,” Jimmy sighed and looked away.

    “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Cas concluded. He knew how ridiculously stubborn his brother could be. Jimmy shook his head and brushed Cas’s hands away. He stood and walked over to his bed. Cas watched him, worried. Jimmy seemed so sad.

    “Cas, don’t look at me like that. Go to bed,” Jimmy mumbled, his face stuffed into his pillow. Even though he couldn’t see Cas, Jimmy knew what he was doing. Cas smiled. He didn’t think he’d ever be as close to anyone as he was to his brother.

     Cas went to the restroom to brush his teeth. He squeezed toothpaste onto the brush and began scrubbing his teeth. His mind began to wander, searching for reasons to Jimmy’s mood. He seemed frustrated and melancholy. Suddenly he choked on his toothpaste and began coughing violently. That was exactly what he’d been feeling. Was it possible Jimmy felt the same way? If he did....

    Jimmy entered the bathroom, “Geeze, Cas. You scared me,” he patted Cas on the back a few times as Cas calmed his coughing, “You okay?” Cas nodded, trying to force himself to breath normally. Jimmy cupped Cas’s face in his hands and raised if to look at him. “Your face is pretty red. You sure?”

    Cas nodded again and croaked out, “Yes. Inhaled… toothpaste.” Cas wrenched his head out of Jimmy’s hands and coughed into his elbow twice. His throat felt free. “All better now,” Cas smiled up at Jimmy and then straightened so they were the same height again. Jimmy smirked and reached out to wipe toothpaste off of Cas’s face. Cas leaned into the touch without meaning to. Jimmy’s fingertips against his face became his hand and Cas stared into Jimmy’s eyes, seeking permission. It seemed as if he received it and leaned forwards further to press his lips against Jimmy’s.

    It wasn’t an explosion of heat as Cas had always imagined. It was even better. It was the click as two puzzle pieces fit together, the relief of muscles after you’ve pushed them too hard and finally relax, the first sweet breath after being underwater too long, and the finishing stroke of a masterpiece. It was slow and sweet and everything Cas hadn’t been dreaming of but should have been. Jimmy was the first to pull away.

    “Wow,” Jimmy seemed at a loss for words. Cas supplied them.

    “I’ve wanted to do that for years, every since I moved out of our room,” Cas told Jimmy.

    “Then why didn’t you?” Jimmy breathed and pulled Cas back in for another kiss. Cas had been planning to answer Jimmy, but all rational thought flew out of his head as soon as their lips connected. This kiss was deeper, hotter, and soon turned into open-mouthed, desperate kisses as Jimmy pressed Cas against the bathroom counter. Cas couldn’t say how long these lasted, but eventually he pushed Jimmy away. Jimmy stuck his bottom lip out in a pout and Cas resisted the urge to kiss him again.

    “I’m not telling you to stop. I’m just suggesting a location change,” Cas explained as he grabbed Jimmy’s hand and led him out of the bathroom and towards his bed. Jimmy grinned as Cas slipped off his ever present trench coat.

 

* * *

 

    By the time the semester ended for Winter break, Cas and Jimmy had given up sleeping in separate beds in favor of fighting for space on Cas’s. Cas had given Jimmy all of his firsts by now and it only hurt a little that Jimmy had already given his away. Since they had to go home for Winter break, their relationship would also have to take a break. Neither of them thought their family would take it well.

    That was how the next three years of their lives passed: the closest couple in private but just twin brothers in public. Since their relationship was private by necessity, they had decided that being exclusive was not in either of their best interests. Every once in awhile one or the other would go out on a date, but it never lasted very long. It was a year after college when they had their first true fight.

    Jimmy wanted to go on a five month research trip. Cas couldn’t go because he wasn’t crucial to the mission. Cas didn’t want to be separated for that long, but Jimmy claimed it was nothing compared to the four and a half years they’d been together. In the end, Jimmy decided to go and Cas let him with minimal grief, but a lot of suppressed anger. He felt that Jimmy was choosing his career over his own brother/boyfriend.

    Two weeks after Jimmy left, Cas’s car ran over a nail and he was left with a flat tire on the side of the highway. Muttering curses on cars and roads and absent boyfriends, Cas levered himself up to replace the flat with his spare. The one piece of good luck in that situation was that Cas had been going home and not to work. The law firm where he worked as an accountant was not forgiving of tardiness.

    It took Cas 45 minutes of frustration to change out the tire. He consulted his phone and found that the closest tire shop was a privately owned auto mechanic about five minutes up the road. Cas opened the car door, but looked down at his trench coat before sitting down. It was filthy. He'd gotten tire marks and dirt from the road all over his beloved coat. He'd have to take it to the dry cleaners tomorrow. He stripped it off roughly and dumped it in the trunk.

    Cas scowled the entire way to the mechanic’s. He was still angry about Jimmy leaving and days like this didn’t make that any better. Cas pulled into the closest parking spot and killed the engine. He jumped out and hurried into the shop. There was a substantial line, but Cas didn’t have the option of coming back later. He joined the end and pulled out his phone to text Jimmy, intent on complaining about his day.

    “Jimmy?” a familiar voice asked behind Cas’s head. Cas’s eyes widened and he slowly turned around. Behind him stood Dean Winchester, hands covered in engine grease. As soon as Cas made eye contact, Dean’s face broke in a grin. “Jimmy! It’s been a while. Five years, right?”

    Cas was having trouble finding his voice, so he just nodded mutely. Dean frowned. Cas swallowed a few times and managed to speak, “Yeah, five. It doesn’t seem like that long ago. How have you been?”

    “It’s been good. Started my own business,” Dean raised his hands, gesturing to the entire place, “You remember Sam?”

     “Yeah, your little brother,” Cas replied. With a start he realized that he was using the voice and mannerisms he adopted when pretending to be Jimmy.

    “Well he’s in law school now. Smartest one of the bunch too,” Dean crowed. Cas smiled. He’d forgotten how much he liked seeing Dean smile. So what if Dean thought he was Jimmy? It wouldn’t hurt to keep pretending. Jimmy wasn’t here anyway. “Anyway,” Dean continued, “How about you? How’s life?”

    “I’m a certified biologist, all research and studies. Um, Cas is an accountant at a law firm. Maybe he and your brother will cross paths,” Cas swallowed hard and felt only a brief flash of guilt before the anger at his brother swept that away.

     “Cool, cool,” Dean nodded, “Well, I gotta get back to work. Maybe we could hang out some time? Catch up.”

    “You betcha. Available this weekend?” Cas asked, feeling awkward using such casual language.

    “Ten a.m. Saturday?” Dean was backing away towards the door leading to the garage.

    “I’m free. Meet you here?” Cas asked automatically.

     “Sure thing. See ya, Jimmy,” Dean turned around and disappeared behind the black door. Cas looked down at his feet as he shuffled them. He felt like he should be guilty. But maybe this was Cas’s little piece of revenge for Jimmy stealing Dean in high school or maybe it was payback for leaving him alone. Whatever the reason, Cas was entirely too excited for Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


	3. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That sounds perfect,” Cas’s shoulders relaxed and he let his elbows rest on the table. Dean smiled at him while Cas locked that little, guilty voice away in a trunk and threw the trunk to the bottom of the ocean. Maybe Jimmy would find it on his voyage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken way too long! I'm sorry. It's here now though... Enjoy!
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    Cas paced in front of the darkened doors of the auto shop. It was 10:02 and he was already freaking out that Dean had changed his mind and wouldn’t come. It wasn’t like he and Jimmy had parted on the best of terms. Maybe he’d thought better of it and had just ditched. No, Dean wouldn’t do that. He would at least call. But...  this wasn’t the Dean he’d had a crush on in high school. This Dean was an adult who’d been through who knows what. Cas shouldn’t expect the same person.

    Cas looked up as a sleek, black car rounded the corner. He recognized it as the car Dean had been constantly drooling over in high school, just waiting until he inherited it. Jimmy would have remembered what type of car it was. Would Dean notice something was off if Cas didn’t know about this car? Dean opened the door and hopped out. He slammed the door and walked up to Cas.

    “Hey, I was half afraid you wouldn’t show,” Dean chuckled nervously,”Turns out I was the one who was late.”

    “No problem,” Cas answered stiffly, “Eh, I mean, no big deal. It was just four minutes.” Cas smiled and silently cursed himself. He needed to focus on pulling off the Jimmy routine.

    “Okay… Um,” Dean rubbed the back of his head, “Wanna go get coffee?”

     Relieved to have a plan that didn’t involve Cas knowing things only Jimmy would know, Cas answered, “Sure! That sounds…” he struggled to come up with an appropriately Jimmy adjective, “...awesome.”

    Dean gave him an odd look, but didn’t comment, “There’s this really great place a few blocks up from here. I go there whenever I have a rough day. I can drive?”

    “Yeah, okay. When did you get her?” Cas asked, remembering Dean’s preference to refer to his car as female, “I know in high school you couldn’t wait until she was yours.”

    “Uh.. two years ago, when I started the shop. Dad said I finally deserved her,” Dean grinned, but Cas got the feeling he was hurt behind the smile. Dean dropped into the driver’s seat and Cas sat in the passenger’s side. He’d never actually been in this car before.

    They drove in awkward silence for a moment until Cas worked up the courage to ask a question that had been burning a hole in his mind since yesterday, “So, Dean, how did you know I was Jimmy and not Cas?”

    “Well, the dead giveaway was that trenchcoat Cas always wears. Well.. he used to. Does he still?” Dean asked, turning to Cas.

    “Yeah, the same one. It was always big on him in high school, so it actually fits now,” Cas responded, feeling slightly sick.

    “Figures,” Dean smiled, “Anyway, you were also on your phone and Cas was always more about books than electronics, so I guess that said Jimmy in my head.” Dean shrugged.

    So basically it was just luck that Dean had thought he was Jimmy. Cas played with the idea of being hurt, but ultimately decided that they’d all changed a lot in five years. So, he could give Dean a little leeway. Plus, he was actually really enjoying getting to spend some time with Dean.

    “Here we are,” Dean announced, pulling into a parking space. The coffee shop seemed like one of those places where the staff was one, big family who knew all the customers personally. Cas liked it. They entered the shop and sat in a booth across from each other.

    “So…” Dean started, “Fill me in. You’re a biologist? Just like you planned, huh?”

    “Yeah. It’s great. I basically just do research… more marine than anything,” Cas tried not to fidget.

    “Cool. Uh… so have you found anyone in the last five years?” Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

    “Found some… oh,” Cas was confused for only a moment, before he realized that Dean was talking about a significant other, “No. You?”

    “Thought I did,” Dean cleared his throat, “But it didn’t work out.”

    “I’m sorry.”

    “No biggie. She’s been gone a while,” Dean gave a tense smile and waved at the waitress as she hurried past.

    “She?” Cas asked without thinking. Damn it! Jimmy would have known if Dean was bi.

    “Yeah,” Dean smirked, “Don’t you remember that time with Pam…”

    Cas did not remember ‘that time with Pam’ but the way Dean was looking at him he desperately wished he did. “Oh, right,” Cas tried for a smile, “How could I have forgotten about that?”

    Dean cocked his head and Cas couldn’t help but think it was incredibly adorable, “You seem different.”

    Cas’s brain froze, but his mouth kept going, “Really? Is it an improvement?”

    Dean’s smile turned flirtatious and Cas had to remind himself how to breath, “I don’t know yet. I’ll just have to stick around and find out.” Cas opened his mouth, oblivious as to what was about to come out, when the waitress approached and saved him.

    “Are you guys ready to order?” she asked in an overly perky voice.

    “Yeah,” Dean glanced down at the menu, “I’ll have a coffee and a slice of your apple pie. Jimmy?”

    Cas was busy watching the ways Dean’s lips were forming the syllables and didn’t react as quickly as he should have. “Oh, uh, yeah. I would like some coffee as well and pecan pie. Thanks.” She finished jotting down their order and reached for the two menus Dean was offering her.

    “Cas finally convert you, huh?” Dean asked.

    “What?” Cas responded trying to calm his internal panic attack. Suddenly he remembered what he’d ordered and just about bit his own tongue off, “Oh! It’s been so long. I forgot. Yeah, Cas force fed me some homemade pecan pie a while back and it actually wasn’t that bad.” That was a complete lie. Jimmy still refused to eat pecan pie.

    Dean pouted, “You never liked it when I tried that on you.”

    “I couldn’t show weakness,” Cas defended his imaginary self.

    Dean chuckled, “Fine… Hey, are you still living with Cas?”

    Cas grit his teeth. While he was loving that Dean seemed interested in not just Jimmy’s life but his as well, he really wished Dean would stop asking questions involving him. “Yeah, but he’s away right now.”

    “Really, where?” Dean asked. Cas’s mouth popped open wordlessly as he scrambled for an answer.

    “Here you go!” the waitress placed two coffees down on the table, “You’re pie will be out soon.” She hurried off to attend to other customers, leaving Cas to deal with the mess he’d made. He carefully poured one creamer into his coffee and took a cautious sip. Maybe Dean would forget about the question if Cas didn’t answer right away.

    “So?” Dean prodded and Cas bit his lip.

    “Oh, well, Cas and I… we had a sort of argument?” Cas fibbed, fabricating the story from real life, “He had a boyfriend I didn’t like and, well, he decided to go on an extended trip with him… so we’re kind of distant right now.”

    “That’s a shame. You two were always so close,” Dean said as he added his fourth pack of sugar to the coffee. Cas watched him go for a fifth and briefly considered stopping him.

    “We’re still pretty close. This will all blow over soon enough,” Cas claimed.

    “That sounds a lot more like something Cas would say,” Dean lifted his coffee and downed a gulp. A nervous giggle escaped from Cas. Dean quirked an eyebrow at him.

    “Sorry. I just forgot how stubborn I used to be,” Cas apologized. He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Why had he thought this was a good idea?

    “You know what?” Dean lifted both hands, “Let’s forget about high school. We can start over, blank slate. What do you say?”

    Cas stared at Dean. If Dean could follow through on that, Cas could stop pretending to be Jimmy. He could finally get to know Dean and maybe even have a chance with him… Whoa! Was he really looking for that? One look at Dean and Cas knew: yes, he most certainly was.

    “That sounds perfect,” Cas’s shoulders relaxed and he let his elbows rest on the table. Dean smiled at him while Cas locked that little, guilty voice away in a trunk and threw the trunk to the bottom of the ocean. Maybe Jimmy would find it on his voyage.

 

* * *

 

    The next month was one of the best and worst of Cas’s life. He and Dean saw each other at least once a week and clicked as perfectly as Cas had always imagined they would. On the other hand, he was chased by guilt every time Dean said “Jimmy”. Every once in awhile, Dean made a comment about how he’d changed or “how Cas” something he did seemed. After the first few times, Cas didn’t immediately panic, though he was a tad surprised that Dean hadn’t called him out yet.

    The fourth time he saw Dean, they went to a cafe for lunch. They had an in depth discussion about Lord of the Rings, one of the few movies both Cas and Dean had watched. When it was time to leave, Dean insisted on paying for both of  them. Cas raised an eyebrow, but put away his wallet. He wanted to ask Dean if that made it a date, but felt like that would be awkward. They decided to meet up again in two days to watch the newest Marvel movie. Cas had no interest, but knew that Jimmy would have been excited. Plus, Dean’s enthusiasm was incredibly contagious.

    Dean insisted on paying for both of their tickets and Cas blushed as the lady behind the counter raised an eyebrow at them. Dean just smirked and swept up their tickets. As soon as Cas sat down next to Dean in the darkened theatre, he knew it was a mistake to go there. Dean was _right there_. So close. Cas desperately wanted to reach out and touch him. But he couldn’t The ads played for a good half hour and Cas listened to Dean gush about how awesome this movie was supposed to be. Just seeing Dean so happy was worth it for Cas. He didn’t care if the movie was terrible.

    The movie started and the tension between them became palpable. Cas hoped that Dean couldn’t feel it too. He deserved to enjoy this movie. Fifteen minutes in and Cas had no idea who half the characters were and could only think about swinging over and kissing Dean until the film ended. Cas struggled to focus on the screen and not on the incredibly handsome man sitting next to him. He managed for quite a while, but eventually caved and glanced toward Dean. He was a lot closer than Cas had been expecting.

    Cas gasped in surprise. Dean turned to face him and their faces had to be less than an inch apart. Dean’s eyes darted down to Cas’s lips. Unconsciously, Cas licked his lips and looked down at Dean’s. An explosion sounded from the speakers, but neither one of them flinched or looked towards the screen. People began screaming, but Cas and Dean just drifted closer together until their lips were parted by a hair’s breadth. He was frantically reminding himself of his brother, his boyfriend, _Jimmy_ but his body wasn’t listening. Cas heard Dean swallow hard. Then Cas leaned forwards and closed the distance.

     Dean sighed through his nose and lifted his hand to dig it into Cas’s hair. Cas reached out with his tongue and ran it along Dean’s bottom lip. He opened his mouth and Cas moaned as his tongue traced the roof of his mouth. And then his gumline. And then it was his turn and he was forcing himself into Dean’s mouth and Dean was moaning softly. They pulled away when they heard someone clearing their throat above them. Dean sat back in his seat but claimed Cas’s hand.

    “Will you come home with me after this?” Dean whispered.

    “Do you have ice cream and pie?” he asked.

    “Of course,” Cas could hear the eyeroll.

    “Then, yes, I’d love to,” he squeezed Dean’s hand. Dean squeezed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


	4. Too Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biting gently at Dean’s lower lip elicited a moan, emboldening Cas. He swung a leg over Dean’s lap and straddled him, barely breaking the kiss. Cas heard a short intake of breath and then Dean’s hands were on his hips and their bodies were pressed together. He heard himself groan as he gripped onto the back of Dean’s head, the short hairs digging into his palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Christmas went about as well as this whole lying thing is going for Cas... maybe that's why I'm writing this today. Anyways, another short chapter for you. :)
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    “So this is where you live?” Cas asked as Dean pulled up to an apartment complex.

    “No, I’ve taken you to see my dealer…” Cas glanced at Dean in concern, “Yes! Of course this is where I live.” Cas glared at Dean, but hopped out of the car with undampened enthusiasm. They walked up four flights of stairs and down a walkway lit by only two flickering lights.

    “It feels like a drug dealer might live here,” Cas muttered.

    “Hey! Don’t go insulting my home,” Dean slid his key into the lock, “At least wait until you see the inside.” Cas remained silent and watched as the door swung open. Sudden butterflies beat against the inside of his stomach. He ignored them and followed Dean into his apartment. At first he couldn’t see anything, but then Dean flipped on the main light. The apartment was meticulously clean. As if Dean spent his free time realigning every object.

    “Yeah… I might be a bit OCD, but whatever, right?” Dean chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. Cas clenched and unclenched his fists.

     “You have a lovely apartment, Dean,” he says, trying desperately to calm his internal freakout that was a mixture of guilt, apprehension, nervousness, and anticipation.

    “Dude, relax,” Dean reached out and put a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “Come on. Let’s sit down. Wanna watch anything else?” Cas let him push him down onto the couch.

    “Whatever you want Dean. Just, please, don’t subject me to Dr. Sexy.”

    “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean sat next to Cas, their sides brushing. Cas really wanted to wrap an arm around him but he also kind of wanted to run away. This was all starting to feel very _wrong._

    “So,” Dean continued, “There’s this series I’ve been watching on Netflix. Not Dr. Sexy, I swear,” he held up both hands, one holding the remote, “Wanna try it?”

    Something about that set Cas at ease. He found himself answering, “Sure, What is it about?” Dean launched into a vague, but long, explanation of what the show was about as he pulled it up on his television. By the time he hit play on the first episode, Cas was more lost than he had been before, but that was okay. He was really here to spend time with Dean. He snuggled into Dean’s side.

   “Wait,” Cas suddenly remembered, “What about that ice cream and pie?”

   Dean jumped up, “Right! I’ll be right back.”

  “But… the show…,” Cas began. Dean waved him off.

  “I’ve seen the first three episodes already. Keep going,” and then he disappeared into the kitchen. Cas focused on the screen for a while. The premise was actually interesting; as long as they approached the plot development well, it might be worth watching.

    “Do you want chocolate or vanilla?” Dean yelled.

    “Chocolate.”

    “Still not a vanilla boy, huh?” Dean asked, walking in with a smirk and two plates. Cas looked down and blushed, thinking about some of the things he and Jimmy got up to.

    “No, I guess not,” he muttered and scooted closer to Dean as he sat down on the couch.

    “So, catch me up. What all’s happened?” Dean shoved in a forkful of pie and looked at Cas expectantly. So Cas explained how two people had died tragically and a third had been severely injured.

 

    By the time the third episode was starting, Cas was practically in Dean’s lap. They had finished their pie and ice cream a while ago and had been drifting closer to each other ever since. It shouldn’t be this nerve wracking since they’d kissed in the theatre, but it just was. Dean had an arm around Cas’s shoulders and Cas was nestled up to his side. Dean looked down at Cas. The light from the tv flashed across his face and caught in his eyes. Holding his breath, Cas watched as Dean drew closer and their lips brushed.

    “This okay?” Dean asked. Cas made some noise of agreement and then Dean was kissing him again. His lips were soft and perfect and this time there wasn’t an armrest in the way. Cas’s arms snaked around to wrap around Dean’s waist. Running a hand through Cas’s hair, Dean repositioned himself so he’s angled towards Cas.

    Biting gently at Dean’s lower lip elicited a moan, emboldening Cas. He swung a leg over Dean’s lap and straddled him, barely breaking the kiss. Cas heard a short intake of breath and then Dean’s hands were on his hips and their bodies were pressed together. He heard himself groan as he gripped onto the back of Dean’s head, the short hairs digging into his palm.

    “Jimmy,” Dean sighed against Cas’s neck. Cas stiffened. He pulled away, suddenly feeling the fluttering in his stomach again. “What did I do wrong?” Dean ran his hands downs Cas’s sides.

    “N-nothing,” Cas managed, “Um, just, well, don’t you think maybe we’re taking this a bit fast?”

    “Oh,” Dean pulled his hands away, “Okay. We’ll go at your speed. Whatever you want.”

    “I think I should go home for tonight,” Cas responded and stood up. He glanced at the show still playing in the background.

    “Don’t go,” Dean reached out and took his hand, “I’ll keep to my side of the couch, promise.” Cas wavered under the puppy eyes Dean was shooting at him. “Come on, Jimmy, I’ll be good.” Cas took a step back. That name tortured him every time he heard it drop from Dean’s lips.

    “No, it’s getting late and I have work tomorrow,” he backed up towards the door and Dean stood to follow him, “I’ll see you later. Call me.”

    “Sure thing,” Dean opened his door for Cas, “Just, um, we’re okay, right?” He looked so worried that Cas took pity on him.

    “Yeah, we’re okay. Tonight was just getting a bit too much.”

    “Great,” Dean grinned at him. On an impulse, Cas leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Dean’s lips.

    “See you later.”

 

    Later turned out to be next Saturday. They made plans to go out to dinner. The Friday before, Cas had a surprising visitor at work.

    “I need you to take these files and…” Cas trailed off as he saw the man who was walking towards them. If it weren’t for Dean showing him pictures, Cas never would have recognized the behemoth who grew out of the lanky boy he knew in highschool. “Sam,” Cas breathed.

    “What?” Claire, the intern, asked him. Cas just shook his head and shoved the stack of papers into her arms.

    “I’m not here,” Cas whispered and tried to duck down an aisle. However, he was too late.

    “Cas? Cas!” Sam yelled and hurried a little faster down the hall. Claire flashed him a sympathetic smile and hurried away to take care of the paperwork. “Man, It’s been forever. Dean tells me he’s been hanging out with your brother.”

    “Oh,” Cas tried desperately not to squeak, “I-I wouldn’t know. Jimmy and I aren’t talking much these days.”

    “Oh, that’s too bad. You two were inseparable in high school,” Sam pouted a moment and Cas was surprised that the face was as effective on the grown man’s face as it had been on the child’s, “Anyway, this is where you work?”

    “Yes, this is it,” Cas said awkwardly, “Why are you here?”

    “Scouting out places I might want to work when I graduate. I’m starting early,” Sam motioned to a stack of papers nestled in the crook of his arm which must be the information he’d collected about other firms. “Anything to say about this place?”

    “Well,” Cas began, thinking, “They’re not a bad employer, good benefits. They aren’t afraid to work you long hours though.”

    “Hmm, most employees at law firms say that. It must be common thing. How good are the benefits?” Sam asked.

    “I would be more than happy to talk about that with you, but I really need to get back to work,” Cas deflected. He didn’t mind talking to Sam, but he was nervous he’d say something stupid and blow his cover with Dean.

    “Oh! Of course,” Sam juggled papers for a moment and then held out a hand for Cas to shake, “Sorry to keep you.”

    “No problem,” Cas responded, shaking Sam’s hand, “I hope you find a good match.”

    “Thanks. Catch you later,” Sam saluted Cas and strode deeper into the office. Cas pinched his lips together and backed up to sit in his chair. What was he doing with Dean? He needed to break it off before they got any further, before Cas got any deeper entrenched. The problem  was that he’d already half-convinced himself that he was in too deep to pull out now.

    The very next day, Dean brought up Sam’s visit at dinner.

    “So… Sam saw Cas the other day,” Dean nudged the words out carefully, “He said that you two still aren’t speaking.”

     “We talk… a bit,” Cas hedged. This was a discussion he did NOT want to have. He and Jimmy were talking, but the theoretical Cas he’d made up wasn’t talking to the pretend Jimmy Cas was playing. Why was he doing this to himself again? Oh, that’s right. Because Dean Winchester was perfect and gorgeous… but would never want Cas, only Jimmy. Because Jimmy was amazing too.

    “That’s not much of an answer,” Dean glanced up from his menu and caught Cas’s eye, “But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool. I’m not good with that shit anyway.”

    “Thanks, Dean,” Cas smiled at him and Dean’s responding smile made everything better. Almost.

    “Do you want to split the eggplant parmesan?” Cas asked, breaking the short awkward silence.

    “Only if you split apple pie with me for dessert too,” Dean replied easily. Cas pretended to think for a moment.

    “Okay, sure.”

* * *

    For a month, they switched off going to Dean’s and then Cas’s apartment after dinner or a movie. The first time Dean suggesting going to Cas’s place, he’d flipped out and refused on the basis that it was a mess and had to clean it up first. Dean had laughed and said he didn’t care, but Cas had insisted. The very next day he’d cleared out every sign that _Cas_ lived in the apartment and not _Jimmy_.

    On a Friday, Cas received a text from Jimmy:

 

_Jimmy 2:36 PM_

**just heard…. they’re gonna keep me for an extra month… sorry Cas**

 

    Cas’s phone took an impromptu trip across the room and crashed into the wall. He was stressed about Jimmy coming back because… Dean… but he couldn’t believe his brother was staying away for yet another month. He wouldn’t be seeing Jimmy for three more months! Cas stalked across the room to retrieve his phone and the fired off a text.

 

_Cas 2:39 PM_

**Fine. Have fun. I’m sure I will.**

 

    He hit send and then turned the ringer off on his phone. He didn’t want to receive a response. At least he had a date with Dean tonight. Somehow, it was always satisfying to be close to Dean when he was upset with Jimmy.      

    

 

    “Jimmy, what did you say about going too fast?” Dean chuckled as Cas tugged on the bottom of Dean’s t-shirt.

     “That was a month ago, at least,” Cas complained, finally peeling the offending shirt from Dean’s chest, “It’s okay now.”

    “Mmm,” Whatever response Dean had was swallowed up in a kiss and it was as if a switch had been flipped in his head. Cas was pushed back and down against his couch as Dean climbed on top of him. Soon Cas’s shirt and pants were ripped off and thrown to the ground. Dean ground down on him and Cas threw his head back, whimpering a little in pleasure. A small growl rolled out of Dean’s throat and he started sucking on Cas’s pulse point. Cas fumbled with Dean’s belt buckle and Dean breathed heavily in his ear, tracing the shell of it with his tongue. Suddenly, Dean stiffened and looked up. Cas froze and listened to the sound of a key in the lock.

    “Cas!” Jimmy called, “Surprise! They let… Dean? Cas!?”

    “Jimmy!” Cas screeched, scrambling to sit up.

    “Cas?!” Dean shouted, gaping at him but still crouching in his lap. He slowly looked up at the other brother coming in the front door, “Jimmy...” he whispered softly, his mouth hanging open.

    “What in the Hell is going on?” Jimmy demanded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


	5. Jimmy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry, I really am. I was just angry at you, Jimmy, and Dean was there and I might have harbored a bit of jealousy over you getting him in high school and it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up,” Cas babbled, fully aware that his excuses would do nothing to fix the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another chapter ready to post already! The magic of Christmas break... 
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    “Well, um…” Cas hunted for the right words while he also desperately searched for something to wear other than his boxers. Dean slowly sat back off of Cas’s lap.

    “Wait,” Dean said in a cold voice, “Just tell me straight up: which one of you is Jimmy?”

    “I am, of course! What has Cas been telling you?” Jimmy asked in a voice slightly higher pitched than normal.

    “Dean might have mistaken me for you and I might maybe have just never corrected him,” Cas bit his lower lip and looked up at his twin with apologetic eyes. His hands found a shirt and he quickly forced it over his head. He felt marginally better now that he wasn’t almost naked.

    Dean groaned and threw his head back, “So much makes sense now…”

    “I’m sorry, I really am. I was just angry at you, Jimmy, and Dean was there and I might have harbored a bit of jealousy over you getting him in high school and it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up,” Cas babbled, fully aware that his excuses would do nothing to fix the situation.

    “So what? Has anything you’ve told me been true?” Dean sounded outraged as he scrambled backwards and stood up.

    “Yes, Dean,” Cas tried to keep his rising panic out of his voice, “Everything was true. I just switched who was an accountant and who was a biologist. That’s all.”

    “Hold up,” Jimmy raise a hand, “How long exactly has this been going on?”

    “I ran into Dean two weeks after you left,” Cas admitted and looked down at the couch.

    “And you never thought to tell me about it?” Jimmy was flushed, bordering between anger and something else Cas wasn’t sure of.

    “I think I should go,” Dean said icily. He bent to pick up a shirt and pulled it down over his head.

    “No,” Cas begged, “Let’s just talk about this a bit.” His brain was repeating a mantra of _nononononono._ He couldn’t lose Dean. He just couldn’t.

    “Goodbye, Cas,” Dean stalked to the door, grabbing his jacket and keys on the way, “Jimmy,” he nodded and then left, slamming the door behind him.

    “What the Hell have you done, Cas?” Jimmy sighed, the fight seeming to have left him, and plopped himself down on the couch next to his brother, “My ship ports here for a week so I decide to come surprise you and I walk in on you and _Dean Winchester_ grinding on the couch. So instead, I’m the surprised one. I mean, a hot surprise, but surprising.”

    “What was the text this morning about?” Cas whispered.

    “Just me being cruel to my bro,” Jimmy grinned, “I also wanted to see your face when I told you it wasn’t true.”

    Cas snorted, “Why do I like you?”

    “Well, apparently you like Dean now too,” Jimmy retorted, a bitter note in his voice.

    “I’ve always liked Dean, you know that,” Cas murmured.

    “I shouldn’t have dated him in high school. I’m sorry. I think I wanted to hurt you cause I thought being attracted to you was wrong,” Jimmy coughed a little, “But then I really did like him and I couldn’t deal with that _and_ liking you. That’s why the explosive breakup.” Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck and Cas stared at him, suddenly struck by how similar Jimmy and Dean were, even down to the same mannerisms. “Or I could be totally over-analyzing this shit and we just didn’t work. Who knows,” Jimmy shrugged and shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

    “Would you have gotten back together with him if you had been the one he asked out on a coffee date?” Cas asked, not sure which answer he wanted.

    “Probably, I mean, he is one fine piece of ass,” Jimmy chuckled but then grew serious, “But why, Cas, why pretend to be me? Couldn’t you have gotten to know Dean as yourself and seen how that went?”

    “Oh, he’d never want me,” Cas stared at his lap and traced nonsense patterns on his knee, “You two are something special and together you were amazing… I just can’t stand up to that.”

    “Cas,” Jimmy grabbed Cas’s face and turned it to face him, “I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that again. You’re something special too. Dean would have been lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have you.”

    Cas’s lips twitched in a half-smile, but he couldn’t quite make it to a full one, “Perhaps, but I’ve ruined any chance I ever would have had with Dean. It’s okay. He has every right to be angry.” Jimmy released his face and scooted closer, wrapping his arms around Cas’s shoulders.

    “You really do like him, don’t you?” Jimmy asked, studying Cas’s face. Cas stared back into his twins eyes and nodded wordlessly. “I think he’ll be back. He was annoyingly persistent back when we broke up”

    “That was different,” Cas protested, “You had a stupid high school fight. I pretended to be someone else for two months! And I almost had sex with the guy cause I was angry with you.” Cas held his breath and blinked hard, feeling the sting of tears. He was not going to cry.

     “You didn’t sleep with him?” Jimmy raised his eyebrows and smirked. Cas nodded and rubbed the side of his nose. “Cas, you haven’t even gotten to the good part yet. You can’t give up yet.” Jimmy chuckled and Cas just stared at him.

    “Why are you being so calm about this?” Cas asked in a small voice. Jimmy looked down at the sliver of couch in between their knees. Was he blushing?

    “I might have had some very vivid dreams about the two of you… you know…” Jimmy trailed off and looked up at Cas from under his lashes, “So it’s not the worst thing in the world if you two get back together.” Cas tried to remember all the thoughts that, as a teenager, he’d tried to suppress of Dean and Jimmy together and how they had made him feel.

    “It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he chose you either,” Cas muttered into Jimmy’s shoulder.

    Jimmy cleared his throat, “He doesn’t know about us being a thing, right?” His voice sounded slightly hopeful and Cas was sorry to dash those hopes.

    “He has no idea.”

    “If he did, do you think…” Jimmy looked into Cas’s eyes and silently willed him to understand the rest of the message.

    “I don’t know. You know him better,” Cas threw the question back to his brother. Thinking too hard about that possibility was going to give him hope for something too good to ever happen.

    “You know who he is now, I just know who he was then. Back then… well I know he was into more than one partner,” Jimmy’s eyes got a distant look in them.

    “Pam?” Cas smirked. Jimmy snapped back to the present and looked at him with wide eyes.

    “How do you know that?” he gasped.

    “Dean might have mentioned it once… I didn’t know you had an interest in women, Jimmy,” Cas blinked innocently.

    “Just get back to the original question,” Jimmy growled, “Would Dean be open to dating both of us?”

    “This is presuming that he’s going to forgive me,” Cas felt the need to point out. He was entirely unconvinced that Dean was ever going to speak to him again.

    “Oh, he will. If he waited two months to sleep with you, he must really like you,” Jimmy assured, “Trust me, the guy has the highest libido of anyone I have ever met.” Cas scrunched up his nose and ignored Jimmy’s last comment.

    “No, who he likes is you. I was Jimmy to him, not Cas, remember?” Cas bit his bottom lip and glanced between his brother’s face and the floor.

    “Cas. You can pretend to be me for like ten minutes before breaking,” Jimmy rolled his eyes.

    “I do a very good impression of you!” Cas protested.

    “Do not. He likes _you_.” Something warm drifted through Cas. He leaned forward and kissed Jimmy.

    “I love you.”

    “I know,” Jimmy kissed him back, “So… are we going to ask him?”

    “Maybe… but only after he forgives me. It would just be counter productive to talk to him when he’s still angry,” No matter what Jimmy said, Cas would be surprised if Dean ever came back around.

    “You’re not one for assurances are you?” Jimmy pushed Cas down on the couch and kissed down his neck.

    “Mmh,” Cas grabbed Jimmy’s waist, “I guess not. Forgive me for pretending to be you?”

    “Course, Cas. We’ve been doing that shit since we were old enough to talk. I just wish you’d told me about it sooner so I could tell you what a dumbass you were being,” Jimmy smiled and Cas pushed up to catch that beautiful smile with a kiss. Jimmy’s hands drifted down to the bottom of Cas’s shirt. “By the way, I think Dean stole your shirt.” Cas looked down and saw that he was wearing Dean’s black Led Zeppelin t-shirt, not his own grey one. Cas tried to hold in a giggle, but it escaped through his nose as a snort.

    “Maybe he’ll come back at least for the shirt,” Cas felt the stress of today pushing more giggles up and out of his throat. Jimmy shook his head and bent down to nip at Cas’s ear. Cas’s breath caught in his throat and the giggles cut out.

    “Never let it be said that I don’t know how to turn my boyfriend on,” Jimmy quirked a smile at Cas.

    “Shut up,” Cas hissed. He drew his tongue along the underside of Jimmy’s jawbone, causing him to shiver. “Besides, I don’t think boyfriend is the right term. I mean, we’re practically married.”

    “Aw, Cas are you proposing?”

    “I distinctly remember telling you to shut up.”

 

* * *

    

     Much to Cas’s surprise, Dean texted the very next day.

 

_Dean 11:57 AM_

**I’ve got ur shirt**

 

_Cas 11:59 AM_

**I have yours too.**

 

_Dean 12:05 PM_

**want it back?**

 

_Cas 12:06 AM_

**I would like to see you and to apologize again.**

 

_Cas 12:08 AM_

**Jimmy wants to see you as well. The real Jimmy.**

 

_Dean 12:16 PM_

**fine. come by the shop during regular hours**

 

_Cas 12:17 PM_

**See you Monday, Dean. I’ll bring the shirt.**

 

 

The rest of the weekend consisted of Jimmy suggesting plans and Cas shooting them down. He didn’t want this to be some big scheme. He wanted it to be natural and purely because Dean wanted it. The first thing he had to do, was apologize in person. Then he’d have to wait for Dean to forgive him. If he ever would. Cas sighed and looked at the clock. It was 11:30 pm. He really should get to bed since they were planning on going to Dean’s auto shop first thing tomorrow morning. And he needed his strength for when everything went down in flames.

     “Come on,” Jimmy nudged Cas with his foot, sensing that he was wallowing, “It’s gonna go great. Besides, I’ll be there the whole time.” Cas made a vague noise which could have been construed as agreement. And then he returned to wallowing in guilt and regret.

    “Okay! That’s it. We’re watching _Speed_ ,” Jimmy jumped up and headed towards the living room.

   “I don’t feel like watching a movie, Jimmy,” Cas complained, following his brother reluctantly, “And I’ve spent enough time looking at Keanu Reeves because of you.”

    “No one can spend enough time looking at Keanu Reeves,” Jimmy countered, “And besides, this is our good luck movie, remember?”

    “Of course I remember. I don’t think it had anything to do with the movie though.”

     “It had everything to do with the movie!” Jimmy explained and launched into an interactive description of how Cas had clung to him and where that had led.

    “Just go ahead and start the movie already,” Cas gave in when Jimmy finished with the real life scenario and began threatening to relive every single moment of the movie. With a satisfied smile, Jimmy settled next to Cas and hit play on the remote. The opening credits began to play accompanied by dramatic music.

    “What if he only agrees to date one of us?” Cas worried.

    “If it’s me, I’ll refuse. We’re a package deal. Should’ve been since the beginning,” Jimmy kissed Cas’s forehead.

    “Me too,” Cas leaned into Jimmy’s side, “And I don’t think I ever want to date anyone else either.”

    “You big sap,” Jimmy chuckled, but tightened his arm around Cas, "I hope we get this all figured out with Dean before I have to leave again."

     "I still haven't forgiven you for leaving in the first place," Cas grouched.

     "You'll come around," Jimmy sounded a little too cocky, "You can't live without me." Cas rolled his eyes, but kissed Jimmy and snuggled closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


	6. The Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here’s your shirt, Dean,” Cas held out the Led Zeppelin t-shirt and Dean gave it a sad sort of look. Confused, Cas glanced at Jimmy. He shrugged minutely and looked back at Dean whose face had hardened. He roughly yanked Cas’s shirt out of a drawer and held it out towards him.
> 
> “Take it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have told certain people (*cough*Felix*cough*) that I was going to sleep... but I couldn't. So here's the last chapter of Jealousy. Warning: I am kind of loopy from lack of sleep. But I think the chapter is still fine. I will edit later. An epilogue is coming, but this is basically it. So... thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos!!
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    “Come on, Jimmy, I’m the one he’s angry with,” Cas urged. Jimmy was sitting in the passenger’s seat, staring at the front of the auto shop in fear.

    “You...you’re right,” Jimmy took a deep breath and opened his door. Cas grabbed the shirt out of the backseat and followed Jimmy into the auto shop. Both sets of blue eyes immediately snapped to where Dean was standing behind a counter and smiling indulgently at a scattered-looking woman who obviously didn’t know anything about cars. They quietly observed from a distance, both holding their breath for Dean to notice them.

    “Hello, may I help you?” an overly cheerful voice asked from their left.

    “No,” Jimmy and Cas answered in unison, turning to face the small, scrawny man.

    “Garth, stop bothering them and come help this lady, please,” Dean called from the front of the store. Cas and Jimmy snapped their heads back to look at Dean. His face was now cold and closed off. Jimmy winced, but Cas stared him down.

   “Oh, um, you have some business with the manager I see. I’ll just…” Garth made vague hand motions over to where the scattered woman was impatiently tapping her foot. He scurried off as Dean strode up purposefully.

    “I’ve got your shirt in the back, come on,” he headed towards the black door. Cas followed at a slight distance. Dean was emitting some off putting vibes. The black door led to a short passageway which opened to the garage where several cars were raised up off the ground and men were walking around under them. Instead of going out to the garage, Dean turned left and opened a door which led into a small office. Cas was slightly surprised that he had never been in there before.

    “Here’s your shirt, Dean,” Cas held out the Led Zeppelin t-shirt and Dean gave it a sad sort of look. Confused, Cas glanced at Jimmy. He shrugged minutely and looked back at Dean whose face had hardened. He roughly yanked Cas’s shirt out of a drawer and held it out towards him.

    “Take it.”

    “Dean, I’m really sorry. I never meant to take the deceit so far. I thought I was going to see you once and then....” Cas was cut off.

    “Just take it.”

    “Dean, Cas means it. He feels terrible about…”

    “I don’t want you goddamn apologies, okay!?” Dean shouted and slapped the shirt down on the table. “I just wanted it to be real for once,” he muttered darkly under his breath and tried to brush past Jimmy to leave. Jimmy grabbed him by the bicep.

    “Hear us out, Dean. Just because Cas used my name doesn’t mean it wasn’t real between the two of you,” Jimmy pushed him back towards his desk. Dean leaned back against it and crossed his arms glaring at them. It was obvious he hadn’t meant for anyone to hear that second part. No one said anything for a few moments and the air grew tense between them.

    “I had a crush on you in highschool,” Cas blurted out, desperate to say something, “Jimmy knew it, but he went out with you anyway. Then in college Jimmy and I got together,” Dean’s eyes widened but Cas ploughed through, “and we’ve been together, but open, ever since. Then he left me to go on a five month research trip. I was angry. Then I saw you and you thought I was Jimmy and I thought it would be the perfect piece of revenge to make you think I was Jimmy. And it wouldn’t hurt anyone because Jimmy never had to know and it would get awkward between us and nothing would ever come of it. But I still liked you. A lot. And you still liked Jimmy, so... that’s why we have this mess now.” Cas stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. Both Jimmy and Dean were looking at him with nearly identical expressions. In any other situation it would have been hilarious.

    “You’re _together_ -together?” Dean asked at the same time Jimmy said, “You just randomly told him?”

    “Yes,” Cas answered both of them with one word. He felt like crawling away into a hole, but he needed to do this. Everyone needed to know the exact truth. No more lying. Dean had a curious look on his face as he glanced between the two twins and then seemed to file away whatever thoughts he’d had for later.

    “So… the person I’ve been dating for two months… is that really you?” Dean squinted at Cas and looked like he was in pain.

    “Well… I’m not a marine biologist and I don’t know anything about cars or Marvel movies, but short of that, yes,” Cas stared him straight in the eye. He _needed_ Dean to believe him. Suddenly a grin broke out on Dean’s face and Jimmy and Cas shared worried glances.

    “So when I told you about Sam visiting _Cas_ … oh god, no wonder you had a constipated look on your face,” Dean started laughing. “Why would you do this to yourself Cas? This must have been Hell.”

    “It was actually quite pleasant if you ignore the random bouts of panic that you would find out that I wasn’t Jimmy and leave me,” Cas answered. Dean’s face fell as they all realized what Cas had said; that was exactly what had happened last Friday.

    “Shit, Cas, I’m sorry. I just… I hate when people lie to me,” Dean rubbed his face with one hand and his shoulders curled in around himself.

    “Can you forgive me? Eventually?” Cas asked before he could think. Stupid. You don’t just ask people that. Dean didn’t look up. Jimmy put a hand on Cas’s shoulder and squeezed. Cas reached around Dean, who didn’t react, and replaced his shirt with Dean’s.

    “Goodbye, Dean,” Cas let Jimmy pull him to the door. He opened it and refused to let himself look back.

     “Wait, Cas,” Dean croaked. Cas whipped around. “Why... why did you let it go on so long? You had to know Jimmy coming back would mess things up.”

    “I… thought you only liked me because I was Jimmy. I didn’t want to lose you,” Cas explained past a lump in his throat.

    “Cas. You’re an idiot,” Dean rubbed his face again, “Obviously, I knew you were different than the Jimmy I dated in high school. And I liked the new version just as much as the old one. Otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed with you.”

    “So you like us equally?” Jimmy asked. Cas elbowed him in the ribs. This was not the time!

    “I don’t know… do you still like Metallica?” Dean’s face began to soften a bit around the edges again.

    “All the way, man,” Jimmy replied.

    “Peanut butter and jelly dipped in nacho cheese sauce?”

    “In front of a Star Wars marathon?”

    “With cheap beer we stole from the grocery store?”

    “Totally,” Jimmy grinned. Dean chuckled.

    “I don’t think you’ve grown up any more than I have,” Dean’s smile fell abruptly and he slid his gaze from Jimmy to Cas and then back again.

    “Call me when you’re ready, Dean,” Cas said, sensing that Dean was getting thoughtful again and probably had mixed emotions to figure out.

     “Promise… Cas,” Dean used the name carefully, obviously rewiring his brain to use a different name.

    “Don’t take too long, huh? I gotta leave this Thursday.”

    “Jimmy!” Cas hissed, “Take as long as you need, Dean.” Cas dragged his brother out of Dean’s office and pushed him to the car.  When they were both safely in the car, Cas lost it.

    “What were you thinking pushing him like that? I thought we agreed not to talk to him about it until he wasn’t angry?”

    “You were the one who just let loose that we’re together. And he didn’t seem _that_ angry to me,” Jimmy shrugged.

    “Dean doesn’t exactly broadcast his emotions,” Cas leaned closer to Jimmy, “I swear, if you scared him off I am going to make you pay.”

    “Really? I just did what you were too afraid to do. He gave us the perfect opportunity, I mean…” A sharp rap on the windshield cut Jimmy off. Dean was staring at them through the windshield with an amused look on his face. Cas rolled down the windows. Dean poked his head in on Jimmy’s side.

    “Fighting already?” Dean quipped.

    “Hello, Dean,” Cas stared at him unblinking.

    “I - I think you should keep this,” Dean held out his t-shirt for Cas to take. Cas finally blinked, looking between Dean and the suddenly very meaningful piece of clothing.

    “Do you have one for Jimmy too?” Cas asked carefully. Dean’s eyes widened.

    “Are you serious?” he gasped.

    “Depends on what you think we’re talking about,” Jimmy replied dryly. Dean froze a moment and then stepped back. Cas had a single moment of pure panic before Dean pulled off his flannel and, holding one shirt in each hand leaned back into the car.

    “Will this do?” a mischievous smile was playing around the corners of his lips. Cas snatched his shirt away from Dean and held it to his chest.

    “We don’t have college to fight about anymore…” Jimmy hedged, eyeing the flannel, “But I haven’t really seen you in five years.”

    “For the love of god, Jimmy! Take the flannel!” Dean shouted. A shit-eating grin popped up on Jimmy’s face and he slowly pulled the flannel out of Dean’s hands. Then he wrapped a hand around the back of Dean’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Cas stared for a moment, but then they all heard a small squeal of surprise from outside the car. Dean jerked away from Jimmy and looked up to see Garth staring at him open-mouthed.

    “God dammit, Garth, get back inside. I’ll be there in a moment,” Dean bent back down to look in the car.

    “Dinner?” Cas offered, smiling tentatively at Dean.

    “As long as you’re not cooking,” Dean’s responding smile was anything but tentative.

    “Fine, I'll resist the temptation. I’ll be back here when you close, okay?” Cas confirmed.

     “Sure thing,” Dean backed up, never taking his eyes off the two of them as if he was afraid they would disappear.

    “Get back to work, slacker!” Jimmy shouted out the window causing Dean to mock frown and flip him off. Cas started the engine as Jimmy yelled, “We’ll see about that!” and chuckled evilly. Cas shook his head and muttered about childish behavior, but inside he was soaring and couldn’t think of a better way this day could have played out. He reached out and wove his finger through Jimmy's. 

     "I can't believe I have to leave just as it's getting fun!" Jimmy pouted.

     "I told you not go on that trip."

     "I forgot. Cas always know best."

     "Of course," Cas smirked. Jimmy leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

     "I think everything's going to be okay now," Jimmy said, rubbing the flannel on his lap with the hand not claimed by Cas.

     "I think it's going to be perfect," Cas took his eyes off the road for a moment to smile at Jimmy, "Everyone's going to be jealous of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy, little epilogue of happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! Nothing much, but I decided we needed something just fluffy and happy. Plus, a bit of Dean pov. :) Also, sorry for the long wait. I'm just gonna say life happened. And by "happened" I mean beat me up in new and inventive ways along with the regular old ways. 
> 
> Tumblr: funkytown67rh

    Dean had been having a long, hard day. One of those days where everything went wrong and then a bird pooped on the crotchety old man’s car. He couldn’t wait to go home. Maybe he’d pick up some burgers on the way so no one would have to cook. Cas would like that. Dean hummed a little, trying to lighten his mood with thoughts of Cas eating burgers, when one of his mechanics, Meg, tapped him on the shoulder.

    “Yo, boss,” Dean turned to face her, “Garth put the wrong tire on a vehicle but is refusing to change it. All with that damned smile of his plastered across his face.” Dean sighed and put down the paperwork he had been filling out.

    “Where is he?”

    “Bay 3. Oh, and I think Ash is passed out under a car again. Either that or he’s got really loud music in and can’t hear us,” Meg smirked at the pained expression that crossed Dean’s face and sauntered out to continue working on a truck in bay 2. Dean dragged himself up and followed her, trying to focus his thoughts on eating burgers in front of a Lord of the Rings marathon with Jimmy and Cas.

    Ash was indeed asleep under a suburban mom’s minivan that had needed new shocks. Dean crouched next to him, grabbed his ankles, and yanked him back into the light. An unintelligible string of syllables fell out of his mouth as he jerked awake.

    “If you fall asleep on shift one more time,” Dean warned, “you’ll need to find yourself a new employer.” The guy was brilliant, and Dean really didn’t want to fire him, but he couldn’t have employees taking naps whenever they felt like it.

     “Okay, okay,” Ash stood and swayed on his feet, “I got it. More caffeine, less alcohol.”

     “Exactly,” Dean slapped Ash on the shoulder, mentally adding beer to his list of things he wanted for that evening. “Now, get to work. I need to go deal with Garth.”

    “Good luck with that one,” Ash chuckled.

    A few minutes of Garth smiling and vomiting rainbows while claiming to be right when he was clearly wrong was too much for Dean.

     “God dammit, Garth!” Dean shouted, “If you don’t switch out this fucking tire to match the other three I swear to god no one will find your body!” Without waiting for a response, Dean marched into the reception area throwing open the door hard enough that it slammed into the wall. Luckily it was the end of the day and only one customer had to bear witness to his rage.

    “That bad?” Meg asked from his left. Dean glared over at her as she ignored his scowl and continued to fill out a ticket. The bell jingled signalling another customer and Dean buried his head in his hands. He didn’t want to deal with anyone who wasn’t a blue-eyed twin for at least another 48 hours.

    “Ooh! I call dibs on the one in the trenchcoat,” Meg whispered in Dean’s ear. His head shot up, nearly clipping her in the jaw. Jimmy and Cas were standing in the entrance, arm in arm and waiting for him to notice them.

    “No fucking way,” Dean muttered, “I have a previous claim.” He smirked at his employee. She stuck out her lower lip as Jimmy and Cas approached.

    “Then I get the other one.”

    “Got dibs on him too.”

    “...Both?” Meg asked incredulously.

    “Both,” Jimmy confirmed, smirking, and leaned across the counter towards Meg. She turned a little pink, obviously wondering how much of their conversation the twins had heard. She muttered something about how gays get all the luck, shuffled a few papers, and then practically fled. Cas was holding back a smile, but Jimmy’s grin was wide and mischievous.

   “Hey, babe, not that I don’t love seeing you, but what are you two doing here?” Dean asked Cas. Jimmy held up a paper bag and answered for his brother.

    “Burgers.”

    Dean laughed, forgetting his shitty day for a moment. “You two are pretty damn perfect. The only reason I haven’t killed anyone today is because of my plans for a burger, beer, and movie night in our living room rather than jail.”

    Cas raised his eyebrows and snatched the burgers from Jimmy, “Well, then these burgers will have to be saved for later. That sounds too good to pass up.”

    “Come on, Cas. We can pick up more burgers on our way home,” Jimmy whined and reached for the bag which Cas held farther away.

    “I bought these burgers, I’ll decide when we eat them,” Cas insisted. Dean watched his boyfriends squabble for a few more moments, wondering when he got so lucky and why the rest of the world didn’t just die of jealousy.

    “You know what, we’re closing early today,” Dean strode to the front door and flipped the open sign to closed. Jimmy had forgotten about getting the bag from Cas in favor of watching Dean practically run into the garage.

    “Meg!” Dean yelled, “I’m splitting. You close up.” Without waiting for a response, Dean jogged back to the front. “Ready?” he asked.

    “I _can_ wait for the burgers you know,” Jimmy teased.

    “Well, maybe you can, but you can’t expect to just saunter in here and wave burgers in my face and have me just ignore it,” Dean explained as he headed towards the door, being trailed by two amazingly hot twins he could not wait to be alone with. He couldn’t believe that just six months ago he’d been seriously conflicted about dating both of them. He wouldn’t trade anything for what he had now.

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: funkytown67rh


End file.
